Parents who nurture emotional intelligence do these 7 things

Raising emotionally intelligent children is essential in today’s performance-oriented environment. Child psychologist Reem Raouda, who has researched over 200 child-parent interactions, identifies seven core practices that contribute to developing emotional intelligence in kids.

1. **Understanding Silence** Parents who allow their children the space to process their feelings foster emotional awareness. When kids feel upset, having a parent sit quietly beside them offers comfort and encourages them to reflect on their emotions rather than rush to speak.

2. **Naming Emotions** By frequently expressing their own emotions—such as saying ‘I’m frustrated’ or ‘I’m happy’—parents help children learn to identify and articulate their feelings. This practice normalizes emotional expression, allowing children to share their emotions openly instead of suppressing them.

3. **Apologizing** When parents apologize to their children, they demonstrate that everyone makes mistakes and that acknowledging errors is a sign of strength. This builds trust and respect, making children feel valued while teaching them the importance of empathy and repairing relationships.

4. **Modeling Kindness** Instead of insisting on polite phrases like ‘please’ and ‘thank you,’ effective parents model these behaviors. They trust their children to learn by watching their actions. For example, if a child forgets to express gratitude, a parent might say ‘thank you’ on their behalf, reinforcing the lesson over time.

5. **Validating Small Worries** Parents who take their children’s concerns seriously—whether about a lost toy or friendship issues—show that all emotions are valid. This approach fosters a sense of self-worth and emotional safety, encouraging children to respect their own experiences.

6. **Encouraging Decision-Making** Rather than providing solutions to every problem, parents should ask their children open-ended questions like ‘What do you think we should do?’ This strategy promotes critical thinking, boosts confidence, and supports independence.

7. **Embracing Boredom** Allowing children to experience boredom can be beneficial. It teaches them to find joy in simple activities and develop self-regulation and problem-solving skills. For instance, a child who learns to sit quietly can find pleasure in observing their surroundings without needing a screen.

To nurture emotional intelligence in children, parents can: – **Model desired behaviors**: Express emotions openly, apologize for mistakes, and show kindness. – **Validate feelings**: Acknowledge all emotions, even minor ones, and give children space to process them. – **Encourage problem-solving**: Use open-ended questions instead of providing direct answers. – **Allow moments of stillness**: Foster creativity by permitting boredom.

Building a relationship based on respect and trust is essential for developing emotional intelligence, as it begins with children feeling safe and valued. Raouda, a certified conscious parenting coach and creator of the BOUND journal, has successfully guided countless families towards nurturing emotional intelligence and self-worth in children.